


Just This Day

by GlitterDwarf



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-11
Updated: 2012-07-11
Packaged: 2017-11-09 14:39:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/456627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterDwarf/pseuds/GlitterDwarf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>susurrus su-SUHR-uhs, noun: A whispering or rustling sound; a murmur. (Written in 2006)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just This Day

There are some days – every once in awhile, mind you – that Malcolm Reynolds finds himself thinking. While this happens on most days, there are some days where this happens more than often, taking him out of reality and plunging him into, well, somewhere else, pondering the littlest intricacies of life. 

For instance. How Serenity seems to speak to him sometimes, just little whispers about that’s going on, how she is feeling, her history and her opinions. Of course, when this happens he begins to get a little dizzy in the head and wonder if River is rubbing off on him, causing him to think crazy-thoughts. 

Also, about the real and actual food he used to eat which, oddly enough, he sometimes feels he can taste in his mouth, the heavy pressure on his tongue of the meat, the hard crunch of the vegetables, the softness of fruit crushing against his teeth, the too-sweet taste of lemonade his mother used to get him when he had been an especially-good boy and they had some extra money. He remembered the thought that there was too much sugar in this and it was too watery, but it didn’t stop him from drinking it, because who does that, really. 

Mostly he thinks about his crew. About Zoë and how she was always quiet but how she seems extra quiet now and how the dinosaur toys have mysteriously disappeared out of the ‘verse. About Wash and how much he misses him, and how he should have appreciated him more, talked to him more, respected him more. Jayne, and how he seems undaunted even though Mal knows he must be hurting inside. How this is how he should be. About Book, and how he was sniping at Mal up until the very end, and how much Mal misses his presence, even if he hated it sometimes. 

He thinks about Inara a lot. About how she promises things by just being there, with those little movements of her eyes and the slight wrinkling of her mouth. Of course, these little promises are whispered between a lot of arguments. Sometimes he thinks he would like her a lot better if she was just quiet, just nice, just the sweet, demure, sexy girl she is around those who pay for her. Except for then he thinks he isn’t sure what he would do if they ever stopped arguing, because it’s all he knows. 

He thinks about Kaylee, who never really mourned as much as he knows she would have if it weren’t for the fact that she found herself a bedfellow right after everybody left them. He knows that she is still sad, still mourns when the sky is still and Serenity is running smoothly, fluttering through the air with insect’s wings, all unusual beauty and grace. He knows it is only these times that Kaylee really gives herself time enough to think about things. She feels things more deeply than anybody, he knows, and he also knows that she must be feeling like she has to be cheerful, now more than ever. To make up for the absence. Except she doesn’t realize that nothing is going to make up for the absence, and nothing ever will. 

He thinks about the crazy girl, who apparently isn’t just crazy but rather strong and smart and protective, and how she has taken to the ship recently. About how she sits in that chair sometimes, when Mal let her, the chair Wash used to sit in, and how she flies his ship. It fits, in an odd way, because she seems more in tune with Serenity than even Mal himself is, like she really does speak to her. He imagines them holding conversations in that room, River whispering and smiling and driving the ship forward, her steady hands on the controls as Serenity hums her answers in return. He kind of wishes Serenity would talk to him like she talks to River. He also wishes that he could enter the control room without seeing Wash slumped over in the seat, his mouth still open, the blood seeping into the seat cover that they had to replace, and the horrible sound of the pike coming out of his body and the gaping hole that remained. It’s probably why he lets River fly so often now. 

And even if he doesn’t feel like admitting it right now, he thinks about her brother more often than not. About how he used to smile every once in awhile, little smiles at Mal, about how they weren’t exactly friends but they were finally getting comfortable, about how angry he could make Mal and how he reminded Mal of Inara, all whispered promises and anger-making and arguments and visions of dirty things that muck up his brain and make it hard to think about what he should be thinking about, like their next job or where they’re going or what the hell that are going to do now that everybody is gone. 

So, Mal thinks that there are some promises that are meant to stay whispers.


End file.
